In Crisis - Post #13

I realize that this blog is supposed to be about my dual job search; however, tonight I need to debrief, and as it is 2:47 in the morning, I feel I only have this means of processing. This week and last have been very trying for me. Not only do I feel that my sense of balance is gone, but I feel stretched thin. My candle is being burned at four ends and I feel like I am running out of wax. In the last three days, two of my students have been in crisis with one taking too many pills and the other self-mutilating. (I am relieved to report that both students are alive and out of the hospital.) My two graduate students are both struggling with their personal job searches, have family issues affecting their lives, and are taking their frustrations and fears out on each other. This week is hall pride week, which means that every night this week we have a program that I must attend. We are conducting multiple professional job searches in our department and this week we have four candidates on campus which means extra time to interview and serve a dinner host and tour guide. Finally, tomorrow The Husband leaves at 8am for an athletic event and will be gone till Sunday evening, so it is just me and The Daughter for the rest of the week.

Ironically, I feel like I am handling all of this stress pretty well...and to be honest that scares me a little. Am I simply pushing aside my emotions in order to stay focused on the tasks at hand or am I truly coping with all of these events and the impact they have on my professional and personal life? Part of me feels like I am in robot mode, handling each issue systematically rather than allowing my emotions to interfere with what needs to be done to help those students and staff. Perhaps I just need a good cry to let out some pent up emotion or perhaps I just need to accept that I have changed my coping mechanism. I know one thing that will help a little...sleep. I'm off to bed. I have job related news, but will post that later. Thanks for letting me process.