The Student Affairs Dual Job Search

Job Search Update - Post 15

2007-05-15T15:33:00.000-07:00

Hello faithful readers! Let me just jump right into is, shall I? First, the bad news. The Husband did not get the job he recently applied for. This was a big blow to him, as he has never applied for a job he has not received. But, in a way, I think it is a good thing. First, this job would have been very time consuming, and due to the distance he would have to commute between an hour to an hour and a half everyday. This may not seem like a big deal, but with gas prices on the rise and The Daughter needing to be dropped off and picked up from daycare each day (he wouldn't be able to help out with either) it is probably a blessing in disguise. But still, I feel for my partner and wished he would have had the opportunity to turn down the job rather than have them turn him down.

Okay, onto the good news. I had a job interview and it went really well! It is with my current institution for a mid-level housing position supervising professional staff. I was really proud of myself for many of my answers and my presentation. I have to tell you that I was quaking in my sneakers when I learned there would be a presentation, but I think I did a great job and I am eager to hear some news either later this week or early next week. Getting the job would mean a huge life change for our family. For one, we would be able to live off campus! I cannot even imagine what that will be like, but I know it will be wonderful. Two, we could have a washer and dryer!!! For those of you out there with little ones, I know you understand the value in this. Three, it would be an opportunity to really set down some strong roots in a city and university that I enjoy. I am at a point in my life where having a foundation somewhere is very important to me. I want to make a name for myself at an institution rather than leave after a couple years and start over somewhere else. The more I think about how my life could change in a matter of days, I am filled with excitement and fear. Excitement for all that could be, and fear that it won't happen.

In other job related news....well, there really isn't any. After many months of assessing and reassessing our situation, The Husband and I feel pretty confident that we will be staying here in one capacity or another. If I don't get this job, I will return to my current job. The Husband will take the offer from that weird company that he interviewed with and we will stay one more year living in and then do the dual job search again next year. If I do get this promotion, we will make our home here and the husband will either take the weird job or continue looking. Either way, it looks like we are here for another year. Why, you ask? Well, we have decided that if we can't move closer to home, then we refuse to move further away, so looking at jobs in other cities is just not something we are interested in. (As if the dual job search wasn't hard enough...we've added this dynamic to it!) So, with that said, I will leave you this week with the promise of more to come and ask that you keep me in your thoughts as the week goes on and send me some good vibes!

A Ray of Hope - Post #14

2007-05-02T11:40:00.000-07:00

Hello Fabulous Readers! Do I have news for you?!? I have an on-campus interview! WOO HOO! I am 100% not kidding here. Next week I will be interviewing with my current institution for an Assistant Director position...can you believe it? The phone interview that I felt like I bombed actually garnered me an on-campus interview. I have another shot at showing them what I could bring to the position. Let Round 2 begin!!!

Also, in other news, The Husband has an interview with a company about 30 miles from where we currently live on Friday! Can you believe it?!? Both of us have interviews within the span of a week! Can you tell how excited I am? Maybe this dual job search thing will work out after all. I'll keep you posted!

In Crisis - Post #13

2007-04-25T00:46:00.000-07:00

I realize that this blog is supposed to be about my dual job search; however, tonight I need to debrief, and as it is 2:47 in the morning, I feel I only have this means of processing. This week and last have been very trying for me. Not only do I feel that my sense of balance is gone, but I feel stretched thin. My candle is being burned at four ends and I feel like I am running out of wax. In the last three days, two of my students have been in crisis with one taking too many pills and the other self-mutilating. (I am relieved to report that both students are alive and out of the hospital.) My two graduate students are both struggling with their personal job searches, have family issues affecting their lives, and are taking their frustrations and fears out on each other. This week is hall pride week, which means that every night this week we have a program that I must attend. We are conducting multiple professional job searches in our department and this week we have four candidates on campus which means extra time to interview and serve a dinner host and tour guide. Finally, tomorrow The Husband leaves at 8am for an athletic event and will be gone till Sunday evening, so it is just me and The Daughter for the rest of the week.

Ironically, I feel like I am handling all of this stress pretty well...and to be honest that scares me a little. Am I simply pushing aside my emotions in order to stay focused on the tasks at hand or am I truly coping with all of these events and the impact they have on my professional and personal life? Part of me feels like I am in robot mode, handling each issue systematically rather than allowing my emotions to interfere with what needs to be done to help those students and staff. Perhaps I just need a good cry to let out some pent up emotion or perhaps I just need to accept that I have changed my coping mechanism. I know one thing that will help a little...sleep. I'm off to bed. I have job related news, but will post that later. Thanks for letting me process.

Cheese Station O: No Cheese - Post 12

2007-04-13T14:55:00.000-07:00

Date: Friday, April 13, 2007
Personal Temperature: Weary

I ventured out into the maze and I found a new cheese station: Cheese Station O. It is a cheese station that I have been at before as an undergraduate student. During my past time in Cheese Station O, the cheese was plentiful and delicious. It was a happy time. So happy in fact that I was ecstatic to learn that my dream cheese (my dream job) was located in Cheese Station O. I put on my shoes, I made my way through the maze, I did all the right things, met all the requirements, and when I arrived at Cheese Station O...there was no cheese for me. Now, don't get me wrong. There was cheese in Cheese Station O, but none of it was for me, i.e. there is a job in Cheese Station O, but I am not being considered for it. I'll be honest folks, I was devestated when I heard this news. I cried for over half an hour. You see, this wasn't just another job for me. This was an opportunity to be close to my family, my parents, sister, aunts/uncles, cousins, grandparents, etc; for The Husband to be close to his family; and for our daughter to see her grandparents more often. It was an opportunity to live in a town that feels like home to me and to serve a university community that I have an investment in and believe in. It was an opportunity to continue my housing career and move up the latter to a job I could see myself in for 5-7 years. But, regardless of meeting all the required qualification and the preferred qualification, I am not being considered. I didn't even get a phone interview! I am stymied. While the job listing said that candidates not attending the joint conference would still be considered, I am now wondering if that is what hurt me. I guess I will never know.

What is our next move, you ask? Well, The Husband and I need to regroup. I still have my application in for the Assistant Director job here, but other than that, there hasn't been a job come open near my family or within a decent distance. We will keep you posted on where we are heading from here. For now, I am just not sure what is the right next step. I would welcome any suggestions any of you might have. Feel free to email me at dualjobsearch@yahoo.com with any tips you have!

When It Rains, It Pours - Post #11

2007-04-12T21:15:00.000-07:00

Date: Thursday, April 12, 2007
Personal Temperature: Tired & Hopeful

Yes, I am still alive. The dual job search has not killed me yet! And, for the first time, I have news to share! But first, I need to take a moment to process. You know the phrase..."When it rains, it pours"? Well, I feel as though it has been stormy weather in my world for over a week now. Here we are five weeks till the end of the semester and I am seeing more destructive behavior in my hall than ever before. It seems as though a huge portion of my residents can no longer stand living with their roommates and must move with only a few weeks left. Between the phone calls to them, phone calls from their parents, conversations with staff, and some troubleshooting with my custodial staff, I am finding little to no time for my non-work life, let alone my job search. But, what's a girl to do? We must press on....

So...what is the news you ask. Well, The Husband got a job offer...sort of. He says it was the strangest interview he has ever had. He went the other day to a medical clinic here in town to chat with them about an open position. He got all spruced up in his nice blue pin-stripe suit, had his list of questions ready, had a mint in so he would smell all nice and fresh and heads down for the big interview. Once he gets there, things start off pretty smooth. The doctor gives him a tour of the facility, he meets some of the staff, and then the doctor leads him in to an examine room. The Husband ends up sitting on an examining table with the doctor and talking to him for 20 minutes about the clinic and the position. At the end, the doctor says, "Well, I'm thinking about $35,000 for this job...so when can you start?" The Husband was floored. He wasn't prepared for anything like this, but really, who is? He explained to the doctor about him currently being in school, when his contract ended, and that he wanted to know more information (benefits, hours working, etc). The doc seemed to dodge these questions and The Husband left with way more questions than answers. Can you believe that? 20 minutes of chatting and The Husband gets a job offer? I interviewed over 10 hours for my current position...10 HOURS! I was floored when he told me. Anyway, don't get too excited for us just yet. The Husband has since talked to some of the doctors who work with him now and they say this doctor and practice is really sketchy. They don't recommend he take the job and worry how it would affect his reputation. But, it is the only thing that has come open so far in this area and as you all know, we are either staying around here or moving closer to home...so we can't really afford to turn down a job paying that much. I'll keep you posted on what happens.

Now on to me. So two Friday's ago, I had a "phone" interview for the Assistant Director job here at my current institution. I put phone in quotations because it was actually an in-person phone interview, if that makes any sense. It just didn't seem right to talk on the phone when I am a hop, skip, and a jump away from the people doing the interviewing. Anyway, long story short, I feel like I totally bombed the interview. For one, it was really hard for me to interview with my former boss and talk about myself when she knows me so well. I was afraid of going into too much detail and as a result, I don't think I sold myself or my abilities well. Also, right before I went into the interview, I lost my focus. I accidently learned no more than five minutes prior to my interview that one of my colleagues and really good friends applied for the job as well. This really threw me for a loop because I figured he would have told me about applying and I couldn't understand why he wouldn't have. He has been so open about all his other job applications and interviews that I was thrown off my game when I found this news out. I kept going over in my head why he wouldn't have told me, but couldn't come up with a good answer. Earlier this semester I applied for a job that he had also applied for. I told him the day I applied that I submitted an application and wanted to make sure he knew from me. I just couldn't understand it. Anyway, the combination of my nerves, knowing the people I interviewed with, and finding out that news about my colleague was enough to make me look like an idiot in my eyes. So, I am not too hopeful about the AD job any longer. But, we will see. Miracles do happen.

Other than that one lead, there is no other irons in the fire for me. I have been waiting for my alma mater to call and offer me a phone interview, but so far, no dice. I think that ship has sailed which makes me sad. I have a feeling this dual job search thing is going to take a lot longer to resolve than your average search. Honestly, I just wish the whole thing was over! =) Maybe I will look back on all of this four months from now and think, "Wow, what a great experience." Somehow I doubt it!

Weekly Update - Post #10

2007-03-27T17:13:00.000-07:00

Date: Tuesday, March 27, 2007
Personal Temperature: Underwhelmed

So, I'm feeling a bit underwhelmed at the moment. Perhaps that is due to the fact that I am sitting here watching American Idol and the first three singers have bored me beyond belief. At this point, I would welcome Sanjaya just so I could laugh a little. I digress...

Well friends, I have been feeling a little guilty about my blog lately. The Husband says that I have been acting like a Debbie Downer and after re-reading my blogs, I see what he means. I really have to get a better attitude about this job search thing. So, in an effort to snap myself out of it, I thought I would write a blog entry that would hopefully help those of you who are reading my blog and plan to one day do a dual job search. So, here are some internet websites that I have found helpful in my journey:

www.chronicle.com - By far the best website for uptodate jobs in all areas of Higher Education.

(Okay...quick digression...Sanjaya just came on. What the hell is going on with his hair?!? And he just forgot the words to the song!!! Okay...if he isn't kicked off this week, I think I will have to stop watching the show.)

www.higheredjobs.com - Again, a great website for jobs in Higher Education. In my experience, this website often times has more jobs posted than Chronicle. For instance, I have found several academic advising jobs or admissions jobs posted on higheredjobs.com that were not on the Chronicle. There definitely seems to be more entry-level and mid-level positions posted here.

(Okay...another quick digression...I just can't help myself. Idol is so blah tonight. Haley Scarnato about put me to sleep and she did in fact put The Daughter to sleep, which is saying something since she is Miss Crankypants due to teething. I am not sure if I can keep watching tonight...but I must tune in long enough to see Miss Doolittle.)

www.studentaffairs.com - Great website for fabulous blogs! =) Not to mention, this website is great for those looking at jobs only in the Student Affairs field. It is nice to have a place to search where you don't have to weed through faculty positions to get to the applicable stuff.

www.academic360.com - Probably the best website ever for those of you who are doing regional job searches. This website allows you to click on any state and then lists out all the universities in that state. You click on any university and you are taken to their Human Resources webpage. This has been a huge help for me, especially since it has linked me to colleges that I didn't even know existed. Awesome, awesome, awesome resource!

www.acuho-i.org - Looking for a housing position? This is the website for you! Not only can you find nation-wide jobs here, but you can also learn more about regional opportunities such as conferences and professional development.

And, of course, you can always check out information on the ACPA and NASPA websites.

Hopefully some of this information can help you in your quest to find that next great job!

Fear Knocking at my Door - Post #9

2007-03-21T13:40:00.000-07:00

Date: March 21, 2007
Personal Temperature: Scared

The fear is creeping back. This dual job search thing is not going well at all. To date, I have two applications out there...one at my "dream" school and one at my current institution. The initial review date of applications at my "dream" school was March 15th, last Thursday, and no word yet from them. I am trying to stay positive...I am trying to stay focused...I am trying to remember that fear will only lead me back to Cheese Station C where the cheese is starting to get moldy and depleted. But let's be honest folks, this job search stuff is hard enough when it is only you...let alone you and another person. I keep invisioning myself three months from now, jobless and my little girl sick and we have no health insurance and living with my parents or The Husband's parents! AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! It is usually during one of these depressive rants that my husband begins to laugh at me and tells me to "Lighten up. We will find something. We always have." Sometimes, The Husband's light mood really helps me to get through the fear and other times I just want to give him a piece of my mind and say, "You are right. We have always found something, but this time is different. This time we have to find something together at the same time in the same place. This time, it is not just the two of us we have to watch out for it is also The Daughter. This time we have to think about finding jobs that don't require us to give 50-60 hours a week each so that we can be there for our little girl. This time we are in a time crunch and I have to let my current institution know if I am coming back soon so they can hire someone else or commit to another year working here and stop looking for jobs. This time around, I'm scared."

And lets face it, there is the crux of the issue. Fear! Fear can make people do crazy things, and right now, I can feel the fear of not finding a job closing in around me and making me want to crazy things like 1) committing to another year here at my current institution, 2) throwing our values out the window and looking for jobs away from family, 3) apply for positions that I am not even remotely interested in just to have a paycheck and health insurance and 4) consider leaving the higher education field. One of the readers posted a comment after my last entry asking if you really can do a dual job search with such restrictions. I'll be honest, at the beginning of this journey, I was 100% confident that the answer was YES! YOU CAN!; but now, I am waivering. The cold hard truth is that no matter how qualified of a candidate I am, no matter how much I want to serve an institution, no matter how interested I am in a position, I can't do anything if either a) there is no position posted in the area I am looking at and b) the hiring committee chooses not to give me a look. These past two weeks, I have been thinking more and more about the reality of our situation and wondering if we have set ourselves up for failure by limiting our search so much. But then I go back to the fact that family means so much to us and we want our parents to know our child and future children and we want to be near enough to attend family events. These are huge aspects of our life that impact our greater happiness, but then so does finding the right jobs.

I think another reason I am beginning to panic is because I am watching those around me have so much success in their searches. All my graduate students are headed to numerous on-campus interviews. My co-workers are headed off to the joint conference in a week with tons of interviews scheduled. And here I sit, with two irons in the fire...neither of which seem to be getting hot. And The Husband, you ask? Well, still no change in his status. To date, there have been no jobs posted for him to even submit an application for. I hate to say it, but I think the writing may be on the wall. I think we may have to broaden our search and look beyond our desire to be close to our extended families for the sake of our little family of three. How much longer do we let good opportunities pass us by? And how much longer will my current institution wait for me to give them an answer?

Lost in the Maze - Post #8

2007-03-09T17:28:00.000-08:00

Date: Friday, March 9, 2007
Personal Temperature: Guilty

So, I'm afraid any day now the fabulous man who gave me the go-ahead to do this blog will email me and fire me because I haven't posted recently! (Sorry Stuart!) Friends, things have just been nuts lately. 'Tis the season in Residence Life...the hiring season that is. I have done more graduate assistantship interviews and Resident Assistant interviews than I care to count in these last two weeks...and they just keep going and going and going. I passed the energizer bunny about three days ago! Anyway, I'm back in action now, so let's get down to business.

Here is the latest scoop...I temporarily got lost in the maze recently in my quest for new cheese. I lost focus on my priorities and in a moment of sheer professional selfishness I applied for a job that was fabulous but would take me further away from my family. I lost track of that number one value that The Husband and I have agreed upon (getting closer to both our families down south) and saw a wonderful professional opportunity and let my excitment for new cheese overwhelm me. The result? I applied for the job, received a phone interview, and cancelled the phone interview and withdrew my application all in one week. Am I nuts or what?!? The more and more I thought about moving to this city, the more and more I realized how much I didn't want to do that. So, I had to refocus, swallow my pride, and do the right thing.

Fast forward to present time and here is our dual job search status. The Husband has applied for zero jobs and I have put in my application for THE job at my alma mater and today put in my application for a position here at my current university. The review dates for both positions are mid March, so hopefully I will have some news (good?) to share with you soon.

In the meantime, I feel the need to digress. This is my blog after all, so I am entitled to have a little rant now and then. So, there is the phenomenon going on in our profession right now that is quite disheartening. I am in charge of recruiting new graduate students to my university and I have been shocked, SHOCKED at the number of up and coming staff members who are not being mentored when it comes to appropriate communication to potential employers. So I feel the need to do a little internet mentoring. Future professionals...now here this...if an employer takes the time to email you and ask you to submit your resume and cover letter for further review, common courtesy and professional etiquette dictate that you do one of three things a) submit your resume and cover letter; b) respond to the employer and explain that you are going to take time to research their position and university and get back with them; or c) repond back that you are not interested in their position. Doing nothing should never be an option. Okay, off my soapbox. I just had to get that out of my system, because I truly have been saddened by the amount of people who don't respond to emails. It makes me fear for our future.

More to come....

The Dreaded Cover Letter - Post #7

2007-02-25T07:32:00.000-08:00

Sunday, February 25, 2007
Personal Temperature: Excited!

Well I did it! I finished my cover letter for THE job and I feel great! I kept hitting road blocks on the first paragraph and couldn't seem to get into a writting groove. I want the job so much and I think my fear of not writing the perfect letter caused me to have a brain freeze. A friend of mine told me to stop being an idiot and go to the place where I just "let it flow". =) Thank you friend for kicking my butt into gear! So, the cover letter is written, the resume is done and now all I have to do is apply via the HR website and then send my application materials directly to the head of the search committee. Woohoo!!!

Speaking of HR websites, I just hate them. One of these days I will have to sit down with an HR person and try to gain a better understanding of why in the world I need to fill out a 10 page application for any job at the university. I especially hate it when they ask you to list out all the jobs you have been at for the last 10 years and your job functions. I just want to say..."see resume". Oh well.

Update on The Husband's job search....well there really isn't an update. His jobs will not be posted until later in the semester and we may have to wait until the beginning of the summer to know something. But, he says he is 100% behind me applying for THE job so I'm pressing forward. My next challenge is to get him to tackle his resume and polish it up for his search. ::SIGH::

I'll keep you posted...

Creeping out of Cheese Station C - Post #6

2007-02-20T20:23:00.000-08:00

Tuesday, February 20, 2007
Personal Temperature: Nervously Excited

Well, I took my first few steps out of Cheese Station C this past week. How, you ask? I finally made myself sit down and update my resume. Believe me, this is a huge step that serves as the first sign that my job search is actually happening. Now that the resume is complete, it is on to the dreaded cover letter. Just saying the words "cover letter" makes me want to scramble back into my cosy Cheese Station C and stay awhile. Why is it that writing a cover letter pretty much stinks for most people? All my fellow colleagues seem to agree with me on this point, as none of them would accept my half-joking offer to pay them to write one for me. I would like to think that if one of them had stepped up and agreed my ethical compass would have guided me to decline, but my hatred of cover letter writing is such that it would be a tough battle. That is my goal this week...write the dreaded cover letter and apply for a job.

Speaking of applying for a job...IT was posted this week. THE job that I have been waiting for has been posted! As exciting as this was for me, I will also say that I read the posting and also felt elements of fear. Why? Because I want this job bad...capital B - A - D...and I think it is never a good sign to want something this badly as the disappointment should it not be attained is inevitably harsh. So, why is this job the IT job? It meets many of my job search values (close to my family, a live-off position in Residence Life, opportunity to continue supervising graduate students, ability to teach, and opportunities to work with a college I am passionate about) and when I read the posting, I just get excited thinking about myself in the role. Am I going to apply? Of course! I just need to write the dreaded cover letter, which becomes even more dreaded in this case because I want THE job sooooo bad.

Did I mention though that there is a downside? The Husband does not neccesarily have opportunities there. In talking with him this past week, he claims that should I get THE job he will be able to find something, even if only temporary or he will consider going back for his Doctorate. (This is where I fall in love with The Husband all over again, because honestly folks, he is just wonderful and deserves an award for putting up with my craziness!) While I know he is sincere, I still get those feelings of guilt. Is it right for me to apply for a job where he may not have any opportunities? How will his professional career be affected by this next move should he not be able to attain a good first time professional job in his field? Will he be happy simply "finding something" or going back to school if that is not what he truly wants? Can two people truly have what they both want at the same time? (Now I am starting to sound like Carrie from Sex & The City!) It is a lot to think about, and while he assures me I don't need to worry, I still do because lets face it, I care about the guy and don't want him to feel like he needs to take second place in the race that is our life. I would much rather us cross this mile marker hand-in-hand at the same pace. It is something to ponder...

Okay, so one final thought. This past week I have been talking a lot with my graduate students about their upcoming job searches and the positions they are interested in. Many of them ask the same question..."If I don't meet the preferred qualifications, should I even apply?" My answer to this question is always the same and I have now adapted this answer to be the motto of my own job search. So in closing, I have included it.

The Wife's Job Search Motto: Don't take yourself out of the game, let them take you out.

Cheese Station C - Post #5

2007-02-10T18:51:00.000-08:00

Saturday, February 10, 2007
Personal Temperature: Confused & Hungry

Recently, The Husband was given a copy of "Who Moved My Cheese?". There has been some unhappiness and unrest in his department lately due to unpopular decisions that have been made recently. In an effort to help the department better cope with change, The Husband's boss gave everyone a copy of the Cheese Book. Usually, The Husband wouldn't be open to this kind of staff development, but surprisingly he read the book and thought it was something that would be of a benefit to me. If you've never read "Who Moved My Cheese?" I would highly recommend it! It is a fast, easy read that offers some really good insight into how we as humans process, react and adapt to change.

Anyway, I digress...after reading the book I came to the realization that I am most like the character "Hem", the one who likes his life as it currently is, can't or won't identify when there is no more "cheese", and who refuses to believe that he must move on and seek out new cheese in order to thrive. This really hit home this past week, when I began to question whether The Husband and I should really leave this wonderful Midwest town and pursue a dual job search. I began to convince myself that there were still opportunities for me here, that I could continue to live in and do my job one more year, and that it was crazy for The Husband and I to both start new jobs and buy a house and find daycare for The Daughter all in one year. (If you have a child and have been through the difficult challenge of finding quality daycare then you know what I am talking about.) To be honest, I am still not convinced that my "cheese" has run out here, but I definitely believe that I am beginning to see mold growing. My biggest problem is fear. There is a part in the book that asks "What would you do if you were not afraid?" I have thought a lot about this over the past few days and here are some of my answers: I would submit my resignation letter (but I'm afraid that I won't find a job and then I will be jobless and without health insurance for my family); I would go back to school (but I'm afraid of going into debt and getting off track with my career); I would make contact with schools in that lovely Southern state my family lives in (but I'm afraid employers may think I'm presumptuous or pushy); I would take a step back and wait till The Husband has a job and then look for me (but I'm afraid of letting great opportunities pass me by and further stressing myself out). Is it any wonder with all these fears that I have begun to seriously consider staying where I am? While it would be the easiest option, would it necessarily be the best? Is the cheese here moldy and running out, or is there still fresh cheese to be had? Am I simply living in denial like Hem and refusing to seek out better cheese because of fear? With all these questions, it is no wonder that I stress myself out!

Oh well, I obviously have more thinking to do.

Defining Values - Post #4

2007-01-29T13:29:00.000-08:00

Date: January 29, 2007
Personal Temperature: Sick with a fever

So I am home from work today having been attacked by a horrible bug that was passed from The Daughter to The Husband and now to me. I hate being sick! I am one of those people who can't enjoy my time off from work and instead check my work email constantly and call in to my staff to make sure everything is okay. But, being home has allowed me to find time to post, so that is a good thing.

Well, The Husband and I finally sat down and had what I consider to be a focused conversation about our job search. It didn't come without some frustration, as I still feel there are many questions that are left unanswered, but we did have an opportunity to talk about our values/goals related to our dual job search which is a good thing. For me, these values/goals are essentially the road map for our dual job search trip; and will hopefully keep us on track so that we are not waylaid by unforeseen obstacles and opportunities. So, here is a look at our road map:

The Wife Values/Goals:

Working at a university/living in a city close to our families.
Obtaining a position that allows me to have balance between my role as a professional and my role as a wife and mother.
Find a university home and establish a lasting network of support, i.e. a place that The Husband and I can work for many years and become known entities on campus and in the community.
Find a live-off position in Housing & Residence Life that focuses on staff recruitment, training and development; or a live-off position that includes the supervision of graduate and/or full time staff and all that comes with that.
Find a position in Student Affairs that provides me with new challenges and new ways to connect with students and help them be successful.

The Husband's Values/Goals: ***NOTE*** I felt it was important for The Husband to write out his values/goals for you to see rather than me doing it and risking misrepresenting his wants and needs.

1. Find a job near family.

2. Find a job that pays me a lot of money and only requires me to work "9-5".

3. Find a job in a place where neither The Wife or I have to commute a long distance.

So, as you can see, some of our values/goals are in line and some are not. I fear that those values that are not in line are the ones with the most potential to cause unnecessary stress and strain in our lives and in our marriage. Even putting these values/goals down has caused me to think up more questions, such as, "Hey, that's great that we both agree that moving back closer to family is our number one value/goal, but what if there aren't job opportunities for either of us; or worse, what if there is a job opportunity for one of us but not the other?" See what I mean?!? A person can go crazy thinking through this stuff! Perhaps I am already crazy and just don't know it.

Let's Backtrack...Here's Some History - Post 3

2007-01-20T15:32:00.000-08:00

It occurs to me that I have started in the middle of the story and have neglected to introduce to you not only myself, but other main characters and the general plot of my life. As you know, this post is meant to be anonymous, so introducing myself and my life suddenly becomes harder than I imagined.

Let’s start with my name, The Wife. When deciding how to present myself to you, many identities came to mind, for example The Wife, The Mother, The Professional, The Res Lifer, The Worrier, The Planner, and The Job Searcher. But as I reflected more about the purpose behind this blog, I realized that the only identity that made sense was The Wife. For while this job search is about me as a professional in Residence Life, my new role as Mother, and my hang-ups of worrying and planning, essentially this job search is about my role as a wife, a partner. In past job searches, it wasn’t necessary for me to think of another person and what was right for his career. It wasn’t necessary to be concerned about another person’s job search timeline or when potential jobs for him might be posted. It wasn’t even a thought in my mind that he or I may have to turn down a fabulous career opportunity if the other partner had no job prospects in the area. Now, those freedoms that were once taken for granted belong to neither me nor The Husband. Since these new parameters drive both of our job searches, it felt appropriate for us to be labeled as The Wife and The Husband; and thus, our identities were born.

So, who are The Wife and The Husband? Well, I am currently a fourth year professional in Residence Life at a large Division I university in the Midwest. I received my master’s in Student Affairs in Higher Education from a lovely college near the Rocky Mountains and received a bachelor’s of English from a very proud school in the South. It was there at the proud Southern school that I met The Husband. He is currently finishing up his master’s in Sports Administration, and it was his desire to attend graduate school at our current Midwest university that brought us here. While here, we welcomed into our little family The Daughter, who is all of five months and is sleeping soundly right now and allowing me time to write this post.

Now that you know a little about who we are, maybe you want to know why you should care. Our little family is about to embark on a stress-filled (in my opinion) and fun-filled (in The Husband’s opinion) journey as the Husband and I take this semester to maneuver through a dual job search. From reading my previous two posts you will already realize that The Husband and I have two different philosophies when it comes to this journey, and my role is to take you through our ups and downs, our job interviews and experiences, and hopefully offer some helpful insights along the way. If you know anyone who is currently doing a dual job search or who will be doing one soon, invite them to read the blog, post messages and experience this journey with us. For me, this is more therapeutic than anything, an avenue for me to voice my worries, frustrations, and fears, as well as place to celebrate our successes and the excitement of the journey.

So, I apologize for the boring blog post this week, but felt I needed to do a better job introducing myself, The Husband, and our situation. Coming up, I attempt to talk seriously face-to-face with The Husband and all he wants to talk about is cheese! Stay tuned…..

So He Thinks He’s a Comedian Does He? - Post 2

2007-01-14T19:06:00.000-08:00

Date: Sunday, January 14, 2007
Personal Temperature: Amused & Aggravated

I didn’t expect this to be easy. I actually knew that I would get shot down on the first try which is why I tried via email before attempting to corner The Husband face-to-face (this is to come later this week). Although, even I couldn’t have predicted how humorously annoyed he would be in his reply. Here is a little insight into what I have to put up with….

From: The Wife
Sent: Wed 1/10/2007 4:00 PM
To: The Husband
Subject: Our Job Search

Dear Husband,

Sometime after you finish your presentation, I would like to schedule a meeting with you to discuss our job search for this upcoming year. It would help me if we write down some clear goals and values that we can use to drive our search, as well as come up with some geographical job search parameters. In addition, I think it would be wise if we create a detailed calendar for this upcoming semester so we can anticipate which weekends we have work related activities, as well as when we will be out of town due to work; therefore, we will be better prepared to call upon friends and family should the need arise to help out with The Daughter. I feel that this semester has the potential to be a whirlwind and with proper vision and preparation, we will set ourselves up for greater success both professionally and personally.

Love,

Your Wife

From: The Husband
Sent: Thu 1/11/07 9:00 AM
To: The Wife
Subject: RE: Our Job Search

Dear Wife,

First of all, I think you are completely nuts. Secondly, I do appreciate your efforts in attempting to become better organized by creating an "outline" of our lives. Planning out each minute of every day for the next 7 months is something that I am incredibly excited about. I have been wanting to take on a project like this for some time now, and I wish to personally thank you for jump starting this collaborative activity. It takes a person of truly great wisdom and vision to predict the upcoming unpredictability in our lives. If you would like to continue to take a lead role on this project, my athletic schedule for the second semester is available online for your review.

As for the meeting to discuss our career goals and values, I would absolutely LOVE to speak to you about some of my new and exciting thoughts pertaining to our job search. Since our last seventeen meetings about this topic last semester, I have stumbled upon some groundbreaking new information related to our dual job search. I have been purposefully withholding this information from you for quite some time now due to my desire to keep you out of the loop and uninformed on this matter. I wish to convey to you that I do have a clear plan at the moment, and that I have all the answers. Please get with my secretary, Our Daughter, to schedule this meeting. She can be reached from 7:30 until 5:45 at Daycare.

Hope all is well for you and that you are enjoying this cold and dreary day.

Professionally,

Your Husband

Like I said, humorously annoyed. However, I am not deterred. I never expected this to be easy and I am determined to have this conversation, so try again I will. Yikes! I really must be tired because I am starting to talk like Yoda.

So to recap: Dual Job Search Discussion: Round 1
The Husband – 1; The Wife – 0